It’s more complicated than that.
Well, what isn’t? Not helpful to say it that way.
I’m doing my best here to write it how I’d say it, to not clean everything up behind a nice pretty mask for whatever allists might happen across my stuff. Might pull it off. Might not.
In short: words are hard. I’m lucky (?) enough to almost always be able to manage it – with a stammer, sometimes, or slowly and with long pauses, spinning a finger, measuring every word twice and getting them wrong regardless – but I’m not silent, and that’s better than some get.
But when all’s said and done, I haven’t said what I meant. Often, if it’s a particular kind of personal-important, I can’t say what I meant. The words are in my head and they won’t go out my mouth, and I don’t have any other words to say, and then I’m plainly nonspeaking. But that’s rare, because it’s as-much-or-more about the topic as it is about my stress, and so most of the time I wouldn’t be talking about it if I could.
It helps to be asked about it. In the same way that it’s much easier to start doing something if it’s an outside deadline than if it isn’t, it’s a bit easier to get the words out if someone else is asking than not.
Well, no, that’s not quite it. It’s easier to say something but most of the time that’s the reflex before the real. “How are you?” “Fine.” That doesn’t take thought, and every time I’ve thought about it, it never went well. Even when the person asking is someone who ~probably~ cares, they’re most likely just talking-to-talk and wouldn’t respond well if I told them. Or maybe I’m wrong, this time – maybe I’ve even been wrong some previous times? But by the time I wish I’d said something different, I’ve already read my line off the script and the conversation’s moved on or (more likely) ended entirely.
“Words are hard”. Doesn’t sound like much, does it? I say it out loud, and judging from the chuckles, it sounds like a joke, right? Oh, it can’t be that bad; oh, it’s “just” talking; oh, but you’re smart, it can’t possibly be as much of an issue as you’re making it out to be.
You try it.